Introducing: me.

it's hard teaching other's sacrifice especially when they are so unaccustomed. i am not accustomed as much as i wished to be with it but now life is calling for me and my family do work with each other and for each other. health and happiness is needed.

i can't get enough of donald miller's "Searching for God Knows What," and if you are who i lent "Blue Like Jazz" to, please remind me- i am so awfully forgetful this week. For some reason his words are breaking into me like no other words have been as of late. Every day, every other paragraph or so I am literally in tears- brokenhearted with the truth of the this world- overwhelmed by God's love. I have no idea what it all amounts to but I do believe that this book is touching me in the same way Mere Christianity did. He is writing my theology.

some of the beautiful words that he has touched me with (since it would be bad of me to underline the entire book, I am only keeping those parts that excite an emotional pulse in me):

"Reality is like a fine wine . . . it will not appeal to children." p11
"You know, the real problem with God-imposters is that they worship a very small god." p29 (see Tumbling Toward Faith)
"It seems like, if you really knew the God who understands the physics of our existence, you would operate a little more cautiously, a little more compassionately, a little less like you are the center of the universe." p38
"I wonder if when we take Christian theology out of the context of its narrative, when we ignore the potery in which it is presented, when we turn it into formulas to help us achieve the American dream, we lose its meaning entirely, and the ideas become fodder for the head but have no impact on the way we live our lives or think about God. This is, perhaps, why people are so hostile toward religion." pg59. . . I like this idea of poetry in the Gospel. It's true (we talk about it in my OT classes) but Miller presents an awesome context to look at it in- as a tool to communicate the uncommunicatable.

and I will stop with this one quote that I spoke with friends Lindsey and Meghan about the other day. . . trust me if you are reading this and find any thought appealing you should purchase this book. This man has a heart that is worth reading about:

"It's quite beautiful, really. God diredted Adam's steps so that when He created Eve, Adam would have the utmost appreciation, respect, and gratitude.
I think it was smart of God because today, now that there are women all aroudn and a guy can go on the Internet and see them naked anytime he wants, the whole species has been devalued . . . I read recently where one out of every four women, by the time they reach thirty, are sexually harassed, molested, or raped. And then I though how very beautiful it was that God made Adam work for so long because there is no way, after hundred years of being alone, looking for somebody whom you could connect with in your soul, that you would take advantage of a woman once you met one. She would be the most precious creation in all the world (emphasis mine) and you would probably wake up every morning and look at her and wonder at her beauty, or the gentle, silent way she sleeps. It stands to reason if Byron, Keats, and Shelley made beauty from reflecting on their muses, having grown up around women all their lives, that even these sonnets could not capture the sensation Adam must have felt when he opened his eyes to find Eve." p 66--- I believe that this first draws a perfect line between the way God sees us (in the same way Adam does Eve) and then second is my heart's cry. Having dealt first hand with sexual abuse it does a number on how a woman feels about herself and her relationship with God. She's dirty, foul, unlovable, unforgiveable, shame-filled, a disaster. God doesn't see this. No God sees "her beauty, her gentleness." He is constantly filled with overflowing love for her. I wrote in the margin (yes, i do that)-"I am my Father's most beautiful and loved daughter." What a good moment.

and what a long post.