The current state of a dandelion garden

to stay on board with my love for "weeds" (rather I prefer herbs) I had remembered that coffee grounds made good fertilizer. So I collected some from work in a cup and then went on a walk with friend, Kevin and friend, Katie to return Serendipity to blockbuster armed with a baggie labeled: for Dandelion Seeds. I collected.

Now I have run into a slight problem that may work itself out. But how would one water coffee grounds? it makes coffee doesn't it? i imagine that i will be fine with a spray bottle of H2O but finding one may be difficult.

It's moving time. It takes me a month to get affairs in order but I am finally getting things finished.

London is exactly one month from today. Take my breath away!

I have a myspace now. haha isn't that the funniest thing. It's really another tribute to dandelions and rosie thomas. i will put it on my links so you can hear $2 shoes anytime you would love to.

i miss you blog. i love you friends.










currently listening to: The Elected (that guy from rilo kiley) Sun Sun Sun

serving size: extra large, thoughts on romancing rains

or not really romance. at least not like the lovely dovely (which all started with a typo and should now transition to universal slang) romance. romance like trees are romantic, old poetry is romantic, the rain is certainly romantic. but i hold that it is not romantic to the point that we should wait for romance to strike us (like lightening) there. okay, moving on.


certainly feeling the weight gain and depressive eating cycle hitting. it's early spring. it's due. usually an awkward season transition keeps me all wound in the wrong direction. but i am not coming unglued like some others in my life (keep those in your hearts please). i will start walking once the rain stops.and moving on.



i am tired of not writing poetry when the moment strikes me. this is funny b/c i do this with the two things i love most. god and poetry. they strike. i hide. it's a full war. i mean i even own camoflauge. wait. did i say that? no, now i really don't own camo. jess does. and i make fun of her for it. she even had camo wedding decor. seriously. moving on.



my currently reading list comprises of two books: real sex by lauren winner and let's go to london, london on a budget, by who-really-cares-anyhow. all that matters is that today in my chapters we respectively discussed: that women are thinking a heck/hell (depending on your political affiliation) of a lot more about sex than a group of specific men believe. sorry bub hate to burst your bubble. while you are lusting after miss chestthesizeofmt.rushmore we women are thinking of the way some guy can turn us on and getting all googlyglop over it. and that the brits love to drink and the most popular pubs are filled well before happy hour. isn't it great? and we're still moving on.

i've talked about "that bad thing that happend a while ago" to some people that i didn't expect to. it's weird letting his agenda unroll and seeing where it goes. i hope . . . well you can fill in the blanks there.

and even though i didn't think we were moving on i wanted to say that if my bro reads this or leah.
the weak are stronger than what we give them credit for. you can choose to live in the sadness (and in the words of the Cameron Crowe, get inside the deep melancholy of this) and cherish it's sadness for a bit. then you can start your take off. taking pictures along the way. don't stay low so long that we begin to miss you. your smile is my addiction. i can't help but think of you as happy. and well i will fly kites for you anytime. pick dandelions and send them in the mail to you any day. and really you ought to dance here. dance in this place and carry off with joy. because goodness is clear and sweet. sorrow is bitter and foggy.and i love you.

Why Men Ought Not Shave Their Legs and Other Silly Spring-Isms

So I was reflecting on my Friday lunch with Miss Kora and we were talking about current spring fashions (since it is now officially spring). Topics mentioned were bare midriffs, cleavage, and skimpy skirts on the female side. Noticing that the men had no place in our conversation we reflected on what men ought to be weary of this spring. Shaved legs, their own, not ours. I have noticed this trend arise slowly throughout the years and wonderously it has skyrocketed. Now it seems as if half of all men on this particular college campus are freshly shaven. This is an absurdity! Kora and I did take into consideration the argument of "velocity" and we have both determined that it is just no excuse. Shaved legs (like pre-menstrual symptoms) are just a part of the female odds and ends, not to be shared with our sexual opposites. And, in a sort of joke from above, after the conversation I ended up behind three men, two of which were freshly shaven. I have decided personally that men with hairy legs are sexy, more masculine. It was quite the intellectual moment (wink wink).


Also on the topic of Spring: isn't it wonderful that these last two days have been marvelous out. I am wearing skirts like there is no tomorrow. Also this spring has been blessed with great music. I haven't reflected enough on the fact that the Denison Witmer show was beautiful and melancholic. Just enough soul to pass around the room and more than enough lullaby's to rock me to sleep for an eternity. Joyous. Pretty/Ugly was even better than I expected (even though I expected quite the best from that ensemble). Nice feeling to be blown out of the water by good friends. Next on the list is the beautiful and also deeply melancholic Rosie Thomas. I can't reflect on her show b/c it is still up-and-coming. April 18th, make it to the Belmonte with enough money for cover ($3) and her new ep (I am sure it is worth it). And if you have never heard of this simply serene siren check out her website (and under albums you can listen to some mp3's) www.rosiethomas.com.

if you could take one thing . . .

it would have to be my jump drive. currently. it's b/c i haven't doubled, tripled, or quadrupled saved my work yet. i am doing it now. for sure.

curled my hair today. the first time in so long.

there is something about denim dresses, lace, pearls, and curly hair that's ultra-fem. i feel like i ought to be in the right places at the right time today- allday.

tornados tornados why do you scare me so? it's probably the wind mixed up with all the left over scary movie clips stored in my brain. how something bad always happens in the rain and the wind. it's never a good idea to combine the two. really.

does anyone know about how economical manchester england is? I am thinking maybe that we should look into living there. I don't expect a comment. it's rare. this is a rhetorical question.

also on the rhetorical side of things:

A Leap in conscience.

http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/7418688/the_young__the_sexless/

the above is a link to a fantastic article by Jeff Sharlot of the Rolling Stones.

Life is quite a mascarade at times.








enter in green bracelet. welcome to my wrist :)

The Transient Life

I admit it sounds enticing. It has probably sounded enticing all my life. The first time I met a hippy was probably at birth and then many more occasions thereafter. I was blessed with the parentals being down to earth and loving the earth more than any other parentals. My mother is mostly democratic and more yuppie than hippie but she still claims her roots and still is as beautiful for the change as she was for the beginning. My father, a little less yuppie than mom but still grown up a bit from the past. I don't recognize them in their 60era clothing and retroactive hairstyles but i do recognize their desires.

The Transient Life. I mean traveling in a van with little money from the here to there. Humbled because you can't afford food. Humbled because you decided long ago it would be better than succumbing to the good house,car,job,wifehusband, etc.

I met my first homeless man in SanFransico on my 10th birthday, i believe. He wore a Nike coat and my mom didn't believe he was homeless b/c of his coat. and just the other day emily was asking a question about why a man was on the side of the road and i told her it was b/c he was homeless. when she pointed out he didn't look as such i reminded her how often we are fooled by our eyes and not to trust such things. the transient life.

Boulder CO, the time of my life. the best trip i had ever taken and it lasted forever. the smell of petchuli and marijuana mixed and mingled with body odors and it was a smell that would never leave me. i love that smell. i love their discipline, their heart, the way they love unselfishly, their generosity, their huge bags filled with hand made everythings. i could sit and listen to them talk for hours. i remembered almost dying when i saw a toddler (not yet two) with the beginnings of dreadlocks. oh the beauty of such lives.

all this to say--it is enticing. it is tempting to just leave. that man did it. he felt God calling him and he wrote that book (under the underpass) and he felt changed. it's b/c those people, the transients, they are awfully more beautiful than the good job,house,wifehusband motif sometimes. they are sacrifice. we are moved by such grace.

ps. Psalter tonight was amazing. if you are ever around this band. give them very much love they were incredibly moving. i am thankful for their transient lives.

Introducing: me.

it's hard teaching other's sacrifice especially when they are so unaccustomed. i am not accustomed as much as i wished to be with it but now life is calling for me and my family do work with each other and for each other. health and happiness is needed.

i can't get enough of donald miller's "Searching for God Knows What," and if you are who i lent "Blue Like Jazz" to, please remind me- i am so awfully forgetful this week. For some reason his words are breaking into me like no other words have been as of late. Every day, every other paragraph or so I am literally in tears- brokenhearted with the truth of the this world- overwhelmed by God's love. I have no idea what it all amounts to but I do believe that this book is touching me in the same way Mere Christianity did. He is writing my theology.

some of the beautiful words that he has touched me with (since it would be bad of me to underline the entire book, I am only keeping those parts that excite an emotional pulse in me):

"Reality is like a fine wine . . . it will not appeal to children." p11
"You know, the real problem with God-imposters is that they worship a very small god." p29 (see Tumbling Toward Faith)
"It seems like, if you really knew the God who understands the physics of our existence, you would operate a little more cautiously, a little more compassionately, a little less like you are the center of the universe." p38
"I wonder if when we take Christian theology out of the context of its narrative, when we ignore the potery in which it is presented, when we turn it into formulas to help us achieve the American dream, we lose its meaning entirely, and the ideas become fodder for the head but have no impact on the way we live our lives or think about God. This is, perhaps, why people are so hostile toward religion." pg59. . . I like this idea of poetry in the Gospel. It's true (we talk about it in my OT classes) but Miller presents an awesome context to look at it in- as a tool to communicate the uncommunicatable.

and I will stop with this one quote that I spoke with friends Lindsey and Meghan about the other day. . . trust me if you are reading this and find any thought appealing you should purchase this book. This man has a heart that is worth reading about:

"It's quite beautiful, really. God diredted Adam's steps so that when He created Eve, Adam would have the utmost appreciation, respect, and gratitude.
I think it was smart of God because today, now that there are women all aroudn and a guy can go on the Internet and see them naked anytime he wants, the whole species has been devalued . . . I read recently where one out of every four women, by the time they reach thirty, are sexually harassed, molested, or raped. And then I though how very beautiful it was that God made Adam work for so long because there is no way, after hundred years of being alone, looking for somebody whom you could connect with in your soul, that you would take advantage of a woman once you met one. She would be the most precious creation in all the world (emphasis mine) and you would probably wake up every morning and look at her and wonder at her beauty, or the gentle, silent way she sleeps. It stands to reason if Byron, Keats, and Shelley made beauty from reflecting on their muses, having grown up around women all their lives, that even these sonnets could not capture the sensation Adam must have felt when he opened his eyes to find Eve." p 66--- I believe that this first draws a perfect line between the way God sees us (in the same way Adam does Eve) and then second is my heart's cry. Having dealt first hand with sexual abuse it does a number on how a woman feels about herself and her relationship with God. She's dirty, foul, unlovable, unforgiveable, shame-filled, a disaster. God doesn't see this. No God sees "her beauty, her gentleness." He is constantly filled with overflowing love for her. I wrote in the margin (yes, i do that)-"I am my Father's most beautiful and loved daughter." What a good moment.

and what a long post.